July 06 2006
Seven Day Old Sideswipe For Free
posted by Ana Samways at 5:01 pmI have been compiling the daily Sideswipe column for the NZ Herald for nearly four and a half years.
Now the Herald (link) has kindly agreed to let me publish my work, which they own, on Spare Room. You’ll see a Sideswipe category to the right of the homepage, click on the archive (or click here if that’s too hard) and you can access 7 day old Sideswipe (with the dated or naff-in-hindsight bits deleted) for absolutely zilch.
Forgive me for being a little self-indulgent, but I thought some of you might be interested in how it all began…
Having returned from the previously blogged disastrous OE I took up a job answering phones on the editorial newsdesk, mostly listening to raves from the unhinged or lonely and resisting the temptation to wind them up further.
It was a lowly job for a qualified journalist, but I was stony broke and the work was easy.
My meteoric rise to columnist-hood eight months later was something of a Cinderella story. Then Chief reporter had colluded with the editor to find someone opinionated and inexpensive to fill a considerable space on the back page of Section A with humorous oddities and reader contributions.
I was right under their noses (and in their faces). And over 1000 columns later I’m still here.
Of all the perks that go along with being a “media celebrity” – PRs plying you with hair removal cream, priority service at the dairy and the letters from Matthew Ridge’s lawyer, the best part of my job is the fan mail.
I have one particular reader who has been sending me mail carefully written on the back of envelopes, every so often since I began and I thought I should share some of those letters with you ….
July 6th, 2006 at 8:08 pm
How rude!! At least the person could spell your name correctly!
July 7th, 2006 at 8:25 am
Are they from Ridgies’ lawyer?
July 7th, 2006 at 11:02 am
Sorry, Ama. I won’t write any more.
July 7th, 2006 at 10:46 pm
I can imagine a faint smell of tea and burnt toast on those envelopes. The ink single-mindedly pressed into the paper with a determined pen. I reckon he starts the crossword, then gets frustrated and decides to write to you instead.
July 8th, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Hey … I think I know this guy … he’s the one who stands in the middle of the supermarket express queue, just when its the busiest, and just when they managers are trying to organise it so 6 people can go home without too much disruption, and declares in a loud voice all the things they’re doing wrong and telling them they are short-staffed … well duh … you don’t think they already know this? … sir, if you read this … please do us a favour and move to France where you will be appreciated
July 8th, 2006 at 8:37 pm
I’m looking forward to more of this fan mail. Hopefully we’ll see “Amma is a smelly poo bum” and “Ama loves Rodney Hide!!!!!”
July 12th, 2006 at 3:03 pm
Steve and I think you are clever and beautiful, and without you and your column we would never have found each other and we would be stupid and ugly and bitter and twisted like that sad f*** x
July 12th, 2006 at 4:58 pm
To explain that ham of a message: On April Fool’s day 2004 a reader wrote to me when she realised the only two men she had ever lived with had been born on April Fools. Her work colleagues encouraged her to try a “third time lucky” approach and find another April fool via Sideswipe. I wrote a snippet about her and published her cell phone number. The next day her phone went mad, a radio station picked it up (and sent her on a dinner date with a man whose ex wife had offered him up) and she was texted half-to-death. But after all the fuss died down a few days later she did hook-up with Steve and after crazy dating for a year they fell madly in love, now live together. Nice.