November 22 2006
NZ Couple Sets Up Website To Fund Vasectomy Reversal
posted by Steven Shaw at 2:02 pm
Ready, willing, not quite able: Maria and Brian Wright are raising money to reverse Brian’s vasectomy
Crazy things do happen over the internet. Some people set up websites and find an advertiser for each pixel, some trade up from a paperclip to a house, and others put up a world map, selling virtual countries in order to finance their OE.
But Whangaparaoa couple Maria and Brian Wright are raising money for a slightly different purpose. Brian had a vasectomy ages ago, before meeting Maria. Now they’re married and want to have children together, but a reversal operation, worth NZ$7,000, is out of their reach.
Maria, who owns her own beauty therapy business, and Brian, a bricklayer formerly of Gloucestershire, decided they weren’t going to let a few severed, cauterised tubes get in their way.
So they have set up a website to raise the cash.
“We already have four children, but not together,” Maria says. The government will fund the snip reversal operation, but candidates are assessed using a points system and end up on a waiting list. “Because we have children we’re way down the list,” she says.
Their children from previous relationships range in age from 4 to 14 years old, and Maria and Brian don’t want a huge age gap.
According to Maria the longer a man has had a vasectomy the less likely conception will be after the reversal operation. But doctors have told Brian and Maria they have a 50/50 chance. Maria is only 24 years-old, which bumped the couple further down the public health system waiting list.
After a wedding and buying their first house together there wasn’t any spare cash for a private vasectomy reversal.
Maria says her idea was inspired by the woman in the US who set up a website to pay off her credit card debt.
(The url was in the process of being changed. If no luck with the link above, try this url)
November 22nd, 2006 at 2:19 pm
Sounds like a job for Dr Nick Riviera!
November 22nd, 2006 at 3:01 pm
Good grief. Dont people pay for anything themselves any more?
November 22nd, 2006 at 3:36 pm
Hey, Im sensing a great theme for a new series of reality shows here, “The op you want….”they could do all sorts of things ingrown toenails, varicose veins, vasectomy reversals, and vasectomies too…gawd,
November 23rd, 2006 at 1:35 am
Kids aren’t cheap, if they can’t scrape together the $7000 on their own & have to hit up strangers for cash maybe they should hold off on bringing another mouth to feed into the world.
“Their children from previous relationships range in age from 4 to 14 years old, “
So they seem to have at least 3 between them already. So what if none of them has both of their genes.
November 23rd, 2006 at 9:13 am
I agree with xyz. Its not cheap raising kids these days. I wonder if the marriage will last.
November 23rd, 2006 at 11:00 am
Hey there, just wanted to say there is nothing more special than creating life with someone. We treasure our already born children and want to have 1 between us. We have jobs love and a home. We don’t have 7k spare but provise for our kids well. If we were able to get the money for the op in 3 months it would be 2 years before we could have a child working out the process anyway. The longer we wait the less chance we have. I think saying I wonder if the marriage will last is over the top. We are very happy and aren’t hurting anyone by doing this so I don’t think we deserve comments like that at all! I certainly wouldn’t judge someone that quickly so I wonder Lori what gives you the authority? I wonder if you have a marriage or compassion for those with dreams! Thought kiwi’s were more positive!!! We are trying to be go getters and have some fun in the process! If you are positive it will come back to you and the same for negativity. There are some funny comments and that is fantastic, get humouress and have fun. But don’t beat others down if you don’t need to!
November 23rd, 2006 at 12:07 pm
Just have to ask Lori where did you get “I wonder how long the marriage will last” from 2 people loving each other so much they want to create a life? There is a really weird thought pattern going on there!!! lol
November 23rd, 2006 at 12:15 pm
Hi Mia
I did not say you didn’t provide for your children well. I myself have 2 children and have been married for a long time. You have only been married for a year (I don’t know how long you knew each other before you married). Many children these days come from broken homes. Myself and my husband included. Most of my daughters friends are from broken homes. Perhaps you are too Mia, I have no idea and it is none of my business. Divorce or separation seems the thing to do these days and it is the children who end up suffering. So Mia, I do wish you well and if I have offended you in any way I do apologise – just voicing my opinion!
November 23rd, 2006 at 12:33 pm
lori, this is about making a family bigger and happier than it already is. Which is big and HAPPY
Yes I am offended and I don’t see what broken families have to do with our very together one! The length of one’s marriage can never be a sign of it’s depth, passion or power in my life experience. People can be married years and never even know each other or connect. We have a fabulous marriage and it will only grow!
November 23rd, 2006 at 1:14 pm
Good on you Mia. Glad you are happy. So am I!
November 23rd, 2006 at 1:20 pm
How insufferably vulgar. If a baby was so important, why did they not scale back on the wedding or the house?
November 23rd, 2006 at 1:24 pm
Vulgar! Well now that is rude.
November 23rd, 2006 at 4:53 pm
We eloped for our wedding and our HOME is for our children and has what they need. Like I have said Mrs smith it is a timing concern to increase our chances. I think some people need to watch bambi again “If you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all” have a laugh Mrs smith or forget about it!!!
November 23rd, 2006 at 4:58 pm
By the way check out mrs smiths profile! Decide who’s vulgar! I could have married someone for the money right mrs smith? Unbelieveable!!!
November 23rd, 2006 at 6:24 pm
lol Mia. A very interesting profile.
November 24th, 2006 at 1:49 am
“I think some people need to watch bambi again “If you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all” have a laugh Mrs smith or forget about it!!!”
I thought posting here was about giving honest thoughts & opinions of all types, not just those that agree or “aren’t nice”.
November 24th, 2006 at 1:52 am
^^^^^
“are nice”, not “aren’t nice”.
November 24th, 2006 at 5:46 am
Thank-you for the kind advice, Mia, but I tend not to learn my life lessons from Disney cartoons.
November 24th, 2006 at 7:24 am
The Bambi quote is a joke!!! But I do believe I can defend myself when people judge before they know us!
November 24th, 2006 at 10:20 am
I think what you are doing is fantastic and wonderful! I wish the goverment would fund people like you who both work and pay tax instead of funding people who can’t afford to have children! I don’t think people understand young families not having money spare for everything and those that do will support you! Good luck to your family!
November 24th, 2006 at 10:49 am
I think it’s ridiculous, if you want a FIFTH kid (and there are some who say be thankful for what you already have) for goodness sakes save up your money! Take out a 2nd mortgage, cut back on the monthly internet costs! It’s your decision, so why should anyone else pay for it!?
November 24th, 2006 at 10:50 am
Actually I was thinking I’d quite like to take my kid on holiday to Spain over summer – should I set up a website too?
November 24th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
Hi Ping, thanks for your comment. We are thankful for what we have! We love our children. It’s a good point and it’s a completely voluntary process so if people don’t want to help they won’t! If they do they will. If you would like to set up a website you are free to do so and good on you if you do x If you look on the website you will see a money explanation there, we want to increase out chances.
November 24th, 2006 at 12:39 pm
Wow! Upsetting people here! I have just donated some money. So best of luck guys! I wanted to say mia is right – I choose to donate some of you may not. But it is a choice and I don’t think there’s a wrong or right here. Helping a family have a new addition is wonderful to me. Giving to world vision children may be your cup of tea, at the end of the day it’s freedom of choice! Be passionate – but make it a worthwhile passion not a bitter one!
November 24th, 2006 at 4:22 pm
Thank you
November 25th, 2006 at 1:02 am
I agree 100%, Ping.
Being an adult is being self-sufficient.
November 25th, 2006 at 7:08 am
[...] A New Zealand couple has created a website to raise money to cover the high cost of vasectomy reversal. The couple, Maria and Brian Wright, live in New Zealand, where the public health system will cover the cost of the operation… “but candidates are assessed using a points system and end up on a waiting list. “Because we have children we’re way down the list,” she says. [...]
November 25th, 2006 at 7:37 am
I reckon the $7k should include naming rights!
November 28th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
Great attitude – if you really want something, ask somebody else to pay for it. There are a lot of things to donate surplus money to other than the “I want” brigade.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:21 pm
I had to check twice to make sure I wasn’t actually reading the Trade Me forums.
November 28th, 2006 at 12:34 pm
Crazy what some people will donate money for. Never mind children who are starving to death or dying of AIDS or mal-treated animals or cancer research. . .no, give it to some crap thing like this. *shakes head* Absurd. The people seem to think they’re clever for setting up a website to get money for this, but they just look like money grubbers who need a reality check.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:08 pm
I’m absolutely amazed you would go public with this and that people would give you money. You already have 4 children, can’t you be happy with that? Spare a thought for those couples who desparately want their own children and who can’t even after going through countless medical procedures. They are the people worthy of NZ’s support.
November 28th, 2006 at 1:10 pm
It will be difficult enough to provide a University education for 4 children on the salaries of a bricklayer and a beauty therapist, never mind for a 5th. It would be nice if they would save their money and worry more about taking good care of the children they already have – including providing them with a good education, so that they can afford their own house and children… Very sad.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:00 pm
Hi everyone. WE DO TAKE CARE OF OUR CHILDREN. If you read our replies you will see that. I did this because friends and family said they would donate and like to help us. We wouldn’t say no to extra support but I sent it out to them. This page contacted me and asked if they could submit the story. At this stage I want to have it taken off. We are not bludgers or I want or anything we are being called. We recieve no money from the goverment for our current children. But we will get it paid for if we wait and it will be everyone’s tax money and it looks like you prefer that rather than people doing it because they want to. Obviously you all have a different view on what we are doing but it was never to be greedy or bludgers. We pay more than 40k a year in tax and get NOTHING back from the goverment for our family. I am quite upset at all the judgements and this is not what I wanted. It amazes me how many people consume their time with things they don’t like. We only have 2 of the children live with us so we would only be a full time 3 child family. No matter what I say though some people think they know us better than we know ourselves and our cirrcumstances and lifestyle.
November 28th, 2006 at 3:42 pm
I also want to say we have in no way suggested this should take prority over any other charity and I hope people suggesting this do give generously to those charities and to call this crap is just nasty. We haven’t hurt anyone here so please don’t attack us as if we deserve it for persuing a dream
November 28th, 2006 at 4:44 pm
Hmm. so you pay 40k a year in tax, get nothing from the govenrment for the kids you have already….so you must be earning a good wack already, otherwise you would be getting ‘working for families’ payments. So, out of your good wages, why can you not afford to pay for this yourselves??
And no, I’m not saying people shouldn’t donate to you. If they donate to you, that’s up to them and none of my bussiness.
Good luck to you in your quest for another baby either way.
November 28th, 2006 at 4:57 pm
and I suppose if you get the money and go on to have another baby you will continue to work full time? Personally I don’t support your quest at all. Your husband should have thought about this more thoroughly.
November 28th, 2006 at 5:33 pm
Working for families doesn’t reach most of the people I know and none of them are sitting on money. We don’t have the readies for this op now and we want to increase chances. For example we paid $11,000 last year in child care and because we are self employed not wages the goverment will not help with our childcare cost. We got a $310 rebate. Also because we are self employed weare excluded from other help. Thanks for being positive even if it’s not your thing!
November 28th, 2006 at 5:37 pm
Anna assumption is what has started this negative spiral. It is 2 years away and we would actually love for my husband and I to both part time work and share the at home role. How many times could you have used hindsight? If only is in the past! Got to move ahead! If you don’t support it don’t spend time on it! Do things that make you happy
November 28th, 2006 at 7:08 pm
Mia
Grow up and get a life. If having another a baby is so important to you, then save up and pay for it yourself. I can’t believe that vasectomy reversals are available on the public healthcare system – that is $7K of OUR cash that ought to be spent on people that are sick. (Healthcare, sickness, those words go together).
I can’t believe that my taxes go towards paying for your husband to change his mind. I want it spent on hips, hearts, cancer, cateracts etc – and it is hard enough to get these things funded !
Grow up and pay for your own mistakes.
Beachbuggy
November 28th, 2006 at 10:12 pm
I feel that Brian did the responsible thing at the time by having a vasectomy. Isn’t the world just full of kids that just shouldn’t have happened?? Then he met Mia and should you ever actually meet such a great mother and incredible spirit, then you would understand their need to create a life all of their own. Sure you can go on about the logic and the finance and the da de da de da of their choices but at the end of the day, they want another child of their own to love and cherish as they do the others (and yes I can vouch that they do love, cherish,provide, feed, emotionally support…..) so if you have negative energy for these two then go take it out on another forum. This just isn’t the place for it.
Take care, be peaceful and don’t stomp on this family for daring to dream. just take your donations and negative opinions elsewhere x
November 29th, 2006 at 1:44 pm
I want to hear from the exes!! Where are the other 2 children living?
November 29th, 2006 at 1:56 pm
This email came to me after the Herald online ran the story:
“Hi Ana, I am a fertility surgeon and would be able to provide the vasectomy reversal for mia and brian at a much lower cost than $7000.”
Contact the snip doc via email or visit http://www.healthpoint.co.nz/default,20889.sm
November 29th, 2006 at 1:56 pm
Poodle if you want drama don’t try and start it amongst a family! Watch TV! The other 2 children are living with their mother and are well looked after.
November 29th, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Awesome I’ll contact him thanks!
November 29th, 2006 at 3:57 pm
Hey he says 5500-6000 and he’s in the south island so it won’t work out too much less than the 6500-7000 we were given. But just wondering has anyone heard of cheaper??
November 29th, 2006 at 6:17 pm
I have just found a price a Promed Urology in the Bay of Plenty for 5125 so that’s hopeful!
November 29th, 2006 at 7:00 pm
How much have you got from donations so far Mia?
November 29th, 2006 at 9:40 pm
Not that you need anyone’s approval, but…I totally understand why you’re doing this. I had a son to a previous partner and totally wanted to make a baby with my new man who fortunately had not had a vasectomy however he did not want to have a child. Fortunately he eventually (with counselling ) changed his mind and is the best Dad ever to our 4 yr old daughter. Good luck! I can’t believe people posting negative messages here. Nothing better to do I guess.
November 30th, 2006 at 7:15 am
Hi Lisa, we definitley want to hear from people such as yourself! Thank you for your kind wishes xxx
November 30th, 2006 at 10:05 am
Hey Lori you can look on the sponsor page on the site, going slowly but we’re working on what we can here too!!!
December 6th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
Anyone checked on progress? I had a look and $952.00.
December 8th, 2006 at 10:56 am
More POWER to you and GOD BLESS the both of you on your success in getting the money together. My husband and I are both trying so hard to get the money together as our insurance wont cover it either and because we are in our 40’s we have problems getting the insurance co to give us infertility cash/loans. We understand this is not just a want but a NEED becuase we also want to celebrate in this beautiful celebration of childbirth together. GOOD luck and best wishes..If you find something that works pass on the good news so that maybe we can also try. Thanks. P.S. Beachbuggy needs to take a ride off the end of the peir…Happy splashing into the deepest ocean and meet up with a shark that is starving, lol..
December 10th, 2006 at 10:48 am
Thanks so much and best of luck to the both of you. We will keep you informed. We wish you both sucess x
December 20th, 2006 at 9:45 pm
Okay. I just checked and over $1000.00 in donations. Just wondering what will happen to this money if they don’t end up with enough for the reversal
December 21st, 2006 at 2:43 pm
Hey Lori, we have saved all the money ourselves so far. We will get there no matter what we are determined! So no need to worry. Though after some more investigation we think we may be better off going for IVF at this stage
January 15th, 2007 at 6:40 pm
Still following this one as want to know how things turn out. If you have a minute have a look at a post that someone added last week.
October 22nd, 2007 at 5:19 pm
Hey guys. First of all I am amazed that so many can judge you without knowing your story, didn’t some wise person once say that a little compassion would make the world a much better place. Second, I should say how sorry I am that so many people in New Zealand obviously have nothing better to do than criticise others for trying to create a family. I wonder at how many of those who have called you names, underrate your parenting, or sneered at your love are only doing so because they are too sad or sour to be happy themselves. Third, I wonder how many of those that criticise you actually make any donations to help all those they state need it more, or are they too busy buying fancy Lattés, jewellery, or getting their hair done – again.
As for me I became a single dad five years ago and have raised my two since. It took a long time to for all three of us to recover from the loss of my best friend, but just recently I realised how special to me another friend had become, someone I have known for 15 years, someone my kids adore, someone that I have now realised I want to be with on a far more intimate level. Having chosen to have a vasectomy six years ago, I now find myself in a life I never expected, and I too am trying to reverse the operation. At this time I am unable to afford it either, having spent the last four years at university, working part time, and parenting. But I know it will happen.
I wish you all the best, perhaps one day your next child and mine will create world piece together, or cure cancer, or just be good people who share a laugh together. Take heart from each other, and ignore those who get a childish pleasure from trying to belittle your dreams……I feel sorry for them.
November 7th, 2007 at 12:49 pm
Hi guys
Look I don’t even know if you still look at this site or not. I am not here to slam you I just wanted to wish you luck in your quest for your baby, my husband had a vesectomy 13 years ago just 5 months before we meet I was only 18 (he is 14 yrs older than I am)and faced a life without children. We have been throu IVF and now have two wonderful children 2 and 1/2 yr old girl and 10 mth old boy that I am so proud of but like you I feel like my family isn’t complete and would love another child, We unfortunately had some bad news and our last embryo died over labour weekend and we would not be able to have anymore children that way. It was a very sad time, however my husband has agreed to undergo a ves reversal and this is now happening this Friday! We do not have a lot of money and I am a full time mum and my husband works as much overtime as he can, and we have maxed our credit card to have the surgey. I am not saying you should do the same I just wanted you to know our story and wish you all the best. We found a very good Dr. here in Hamilton that does the surgey for $4200 + $120 for the first consult.
To all the negitive readers yes I know there are people that can’t have any children at all I have a very close friend in that situation and I see the pain on her face everytime she gives my children a cuddle and I was also facing the same for many years I also have female medical problems and yes I know people say we should be happy and greatful for the children we have but why can’t we want more children why should we settle for what we have when we know we have the love in our hearts for more and to be honest what the hell has it got to do with them anyway, how would they feel if one day someone said right thats it you can’t have anymore children your done.
Maria and Brian
I don’t know where your are with your journey but don’t give up I hope you will have the chance to hold your baby one day if you haven’t already. I would love to know what happened and if there is any way you can let me know please do. Good luck to you both X
November 9th, 2007 at 8:04 pm
I had a reversal done today at a cost of $4200, the cost is not important when you have a shared dream. I hope you both achieve yours
December 2nd, 2007 at 5:54 pm
Hey thanks for your supportive comments. We actually had the procedure done by a doctor in Hamilton who works by donation. So we are able to pay him off. Not sure the outcome yet but fingers crossed! Lovely to hear some supportive people out there. The doctor has a practice called The Family Clinic
December 4th, 2007 at 6:59 pm
We just got back a fantastic swim count!!! So exciting!
December 5th, 2007 at 6:20 pm
I am very excited for you guys!!!I hope ours is as good. Ian’s reversal went ok but the dr. said it was the worst vasectomy he has ever seen. Ian had been cut so badly he could hardly find anything, but he did nand he thinks we stand a 40% chance. we still have 2 to 5 months to wait for a sperm test. Good luck guy. I’m thinking of you.
February 14th, 2008 at 3:51 pm
Hi Guys
Hope it is still going well for you? Just wanted to let you know that we have just have an amazing count back. After 3 months count is over 120million!! Very happy and very excited.
Good luck!
Cath
March 28th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Cath thats AWESOME 40 million is ‘normal’ so you should be having heaps of babies with that count! We haven’t done our latest test, Bri came off a motorbike and broke his leg! We are planning on trying to get pregnant next year keep us updated email
Love Mia xx
May 8th, 2008 at 8:54 am
I had a vasectomy 14 years ago and am 53years old what are my chances that I am still fertile or would it be a futile attempt
July 5th, 2008 at 9:59 am
How’s the baby making coming along now that you have split up?
It’s funny when I read backthrough the comments made on this site… ummm how many negative people actually knew you better than you knew yourselves!
Best wishes hope your happy! You should sell this story!
x
February 1st, 2009 at 3:15 am
Hey bob, same people that didn’t have a clue. Attracting negativity into their lives. Wish you well and hope you can find a new enriching past time, maybe a job or man with a new name xxx