April 21 2009

… But thankfully the guy dishing the advice spent 25 years designing the most impressive business card ever. His.

(Via Boing Boing. Hat Tip Mr. Perrott).

Blogosphere, Spare Room, Video,

28 Responses to ““Your Business Card is Crap!””

  • sit ubu sit says:

    He spent 25 years developing it and still forgot to include half of his face?

    “It doesn’t fit in a roladex because it doesn’t belong in a roladex”. Yeah but it fits in the bin…

  • Steven Shaw says:

    And surely one of the primary functions is to fit in a wallet?

  • sit ubu sit says:

    Ah Steven, if a business card like this doesn’t fit in your wallet then…

    YOUR WALLET IS CRAP! You need a wallet like mine. I’ve spent 25 years developing this wallet…

  • James says:

    He’s entered the realm of company branded free pens or bottle openers and fridge magnets etc His product is not a businesss card.

  • Steve says:

    This is hilarious – imagine living with that guy.

  • Julie says:

    Wow, thinks a lot of himself doesnt he? “Even if you dont like me, you wont throw this card out” Oh yeah? just watch me, lol.
    25 YEARS developing a freakin business card – dude, get a life

  • Linda says:

    Americans really are quite different to us aren’t they and what a relief that is

  • BT says:

    Ha ha ha…..what a tool….his card is a childrens pop-up book!!!

  • Alex says:

    The scariest thing is that I’m not sure this is a joke. That guy might actually be real…

  • Kate says:

    Must be one hell a big crowd that he’s crammed into that wee living room.

  • wryta says:

    “Crowds guaranteed”… what, crowds carrying pitchforks and burning torches? Has it taken him 25 years to design the card because he’s always on the run?

  • Sara says:

    OH MY GOODNESS I haven’t been living! I need this card! Please someone get me a card like this.

    Yeah, right.

  • miker says:

    Hey, I need to contact this guy and suggest a scratch-n-sniff patch for HIS card … then people could smell the bull**** too!

  • ian says:

    25 years developing the card? he’s what? 40… so he started devloping the card when he was 15. “life is not about being liked” bang on the money there buddy! i wounder if the cards can be easily wiped clean?

  • Jess says:

    what a dork

  • Simon says:

    Oh dear… Someone ticked every box in the specials column. Die-cut, yes please! Foil, dam straight. Pop ups, pop downs, embosses, flocking, matellics, spots, folds, yes yes YES!

    The only thing his card tells me, is that he needs a ridiculous card to look good. If he really was that good he wouldn’t need a card. Referrals anyone?

    Best business card i’ve ever come across, was the design company ‘The Wilderness’s’ ‘corporate take over card’. Ask the other party for their card, then promptly apply yours, in sticker form over the top.


  • sharlu says:

    douche bag of the day bahahaha

  • Ana Samways says:

    …er, Linda: It’s nothing to do with him being American… he’s a dick with disproportionately high opinion of himself. Every country’s got them… think Laws, Henry Brewer…

  • Amaranthine says:

    LOL Sara I thing you just wrote the next Tui Billboard advert :D

  • Brandon says:

    OMG, another “arty boy” who worships at the alter of creativity and bugger the usability. What am I supposed to do with his greeting card sized business card? Hang it on the Christmas tree? Nah, I’ll leave it in the fireplace so Santa can crap on it.

  • Steve says:

    Wow, look at all the Kiwi knockers!
    Cut down the tall poppy syndrome! How about gathering your facts before knocking the guy and the idea. Have any of you knockers actually wondered whether the card does get positive business leads etc? But of course you conformists, followers, employees and non-risk takers couldn’t possibly think anything else!
    It is far too easy to sit on the fence and be an also-ran.
    I bet you he gets more business than you guys do!

  • Ken says:

    Very effective. Absolutely positive he would generate a crowd. Unfortunately he would also lose all your customers and alienate all your prospects. Car wrecks pull crowds too, pretty sure I dont want one.

    On the other hand, it could have just been his audition for “American Psycho”. Top marks.

  • sit ubu sit says:

    Actually on second thoughts he’s probably quite smart. Maybe he’s only ever made the one business card – but put a video of it up on the web. For every 99 of us who knock him maybe there’s one who contacts him. But then how would they do that? YOU CAN’T READ ANYTHING ON HIS CARD.

  • Stewbaby says:

    I like this guy… he distributes free coffee or beer coasters. All you have to do is listen to his arrogant blather first.

  • Meredith says:

    Ana- thanks for the defense of Americans everywhere. He IS just a dick. Americans do have some weird fascination with business cards and “generating business” because its such a “Gotta get MORE” capitalist society (probably more so than NZ)but still– A BUSINESS CARD>!?! Seriously that’s what you want to spend 25 years designing? Were those WHOLE days, or just weekends spent in the labour intensive, highly creative design process? (And of course, the result, WOW.)
    I just cannot get over how incredibly condescending and self-important he is– and how he portrays that what he is talking about is the most important thing. EVER.
    Meanwhile, in Mexico….

  • Dylan says:

    That is a bullshit card. Cards that don’t fit in business card holders end up in small piles on the desk, and later they get chucked out.

    It’s a small a probably fairly decent brochure, but it’s not a card.

  • Janinealcox says:

    Patrick Bateman’s gonna waste you!!

  • american psycho says:

    love it

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