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Cameron Brewer and Colin Craig

Opinion: On Monday night, just 48 tweets in, mayoral candidate Colin Craig hastily locked his Twitter account.

It can’t have been that I somewhat unkindly pointed out the banality of one of his latest tweet: “There are a lot of individuals concerned about issues close to their communities and families.” After all, he had a great excuse: “Hi Ana – re earlier tweet, press secretary still feeling the effects of an early morning drive from Rotorua to Akl.” He has since deleted the comment and his response to me.

Political tweeting is a dangerous game, and people with no money and little influence can freak out cashed-up mayoral candidates via the 141 character social networking site. My advice to Craig would be this: Tweeting should be done by the candidate, not someone they are paying.

Take a lesson from the insufferable Cameron Brewer, who is running for the new Orakei ward: he tweets about his campaign and policies but mixes it up with tweets that make him sound human and not altogether humourless. “Note to self: Do not assume gender of toddler when campaigning in Remuera. A vote loser. Pink and blue are more helpful than cream clothes.” Oh, and make your picture a close-up, head and shoulders deal or no-one will recognise you when you’re out pressing the flesh.

Get a pie down ya: Remember this retro ad for the great New Zealand Pie?

“It’s a tough life for a fella when you’re working for your pay. Lifting, shifting, smoking and joking gets tougher every day. But the 12 o’clock whistle brings a smile to me eye. Cos when I’m feeling hungry there’s the great New Zealand pie.”

Do they still do a Chicken and Veal!? Go here to view the ad. Also see: Mrs Clapshaw from Pakuranga on Vim here – “a better clean without hard rubbing.”

Unsuck it! Translate business jargon into language you can actually understand… “Eyeballs: We need to get some eyeballs on this. Unsucked: People or customers.”

Music video: “Love Can’t Turn Around”. “It’s Darryl Pandy. And the first thing he’s going to prove to you, all the way from 1986, is that someone in the world manufactures giant green sequined batwing blouses for grown men,” says urlesque.com