Spare Room Be our guest…

“Young love so strong has never been a part of me, young love hold on we’re feeling it now, is this the way it’s meant to be?” – Air Supply

I jerked awake, there was a familiar digital scream emanating from the other side of the room. I made my best effort to sit up, but I hit the top of my head on a hangover. I immediately sank back down on to the bed, retreating from the reverberating pain in my head bits. I figured that if I lay motionless, my headache would get bored and wander off in search of something else to do. Experience has taught me that this tactic never works, and my phone continually ringing only helped to make up my mind. I had to stop the phone and drink some water as soon as possible. I slid along my bed and on to the floor, resembling a slightly retarded salamander, and fished my phone out of my bra. I placed it to my head and said “hel-hang on MY bra?”…

French Elbow responds to a reader’s letter about an on-off, on-off again relationship. Excerpt below…

“…How do you start fishing again after such a hectic ride? How do you take the bad parts of something so silly and make it into something good? I know I have been put through the ringer and let him. I know that he probably feels the same, but how do you make the need to go back stop!!!!”

Well Kerry, where does one begin? When we sought out readers to ask for advice on their love life, I really didn’t plan on receiving a question like yours. It was 1,506 words long. I simply can’t wait til the hardcover edition comes out…

“I’ve got all my life to live, I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive. I will survive.” – Gloria Gaynor

After a relationship ends, it can be difficult finding the motivation to eat breakfast, let alone the impetus to move on with your life. Women seem to mourn the loss of intimacy, that mixture of safety and contentment that can only come from a deep connection with another person. Most wonder if they’ll ever be brave enough to allow themselves to feel love, knowing full well that it might end in crushing pain once again. Guys generally sit and think that another penis is in their ex. Yes, I know it’s horribly immature. I realise that it’s the equivalent of territorially marking out a heart by pissing on it, but it’s true. It’s what we do…

“What is love? Oh baby, don’t hurt me. Don’t hurt me no more” – Haddaway

Let’s start at the beginning. Like most, this beginning began after an end ended.

I was getting a performance review at work and my supervisor was sitting across from me staring blankly at my face. Bugger. She must have asked me a question. I confidently nodded to her and took a punt by saying “Yep, I agree”. Her face contorted into an expression of bemusement and she said

Introducing ‘Plenty More Fish’, a weekly column about the most overly marketed product you’ll never find on any shelf – LOVE.

The Beatles claimed it was all we’d need. Jane Austen told us tight pants and wads of cash weren’t necessary, although every love interest had both, bulging from their jodhpurs. Screenwriter Richard Curtis told us that it was, actually, all around us. So if that’s true and love is all around us, why are there so many lonely people?…