Spare Room Be our guest…

Trevor needs a holiday … on the notice board at the dairy in Whangapoua.

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A reader writes: “To the Wilson parking attendant who on September 14 at Auckland Hospital berated me for handing him the wrong parking chit and then abused me for not paying at the automatic machine, much to the embarrassment of his colleagues behind the counter. Excuse my vagueness, but my mother had just died. I think this individual should take a compassion pill and get out of customer service.”

Bombay hills and home of the new national rugby champions, apparently

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Worst Covering Letters Ever Written:

1. “Today is the first day of my life … Last year was a tremendous year for personal growth, insight and maturity. I courted that growth … This year I want to “take the world by storm”. I want to make a film. I want to be the producer or the director, which ever will put me in the middle of all the creativity and decision-making … I am terrified of the all-out approach I sense in my spirit. However, I am not scared enough to let it stop me. I will go and push and strive until I have reached the finish line. I will sacrifice anything but my God (morals) and my family. Pride has no place in my new life. I will be striving for perfection.”

Ok, what is it with Mission Bay cafes and free glasses of tap water? asks Angela Walter of Glendowie. “I was grabbing a takeaway latte from Pandoro at Eastridge in Mission Bay and saw a Maori or Polynesian lady asking for a glass of water. The young chap was about to give it to her when he was told not to by another member of staff. Apparently she comes in ‘all the time’ and is mentally disabled. So? I told them about the roasting Movenpick received in Sideswipe for refusing a pregnant customer tap water. The young lady behind the counter told me the woman was mentally handicapped and not a customer. My reply was ‘So is my son’. I slapped $2 on the counter, asked them to give her a glass of water and stormed off, tears in my eyes. Some of us are born disabled and some of us through accidents become disabled, and one day we will all be older and maybe become a bit dotty. But surely giving the time of day and a glass of water to someone who is a bit different (and not creating a disturbance) isn’t going to kill us.”

Republican Senator Rick Santorum of Pennsylvania has explained how the Iraq war helped America avoid terrorist attacks by using LOTR. The US senator said America had avoided a second terrorist attack for five years because the “Eye of Mordor” had instead been drawn to Iraq. Santorum used the analogy to put an increasingly unpopular war in Iraq into terms any school kid could easily understand. “As the hobbits are going up Mt Doom, the Eye of Mordor is being drawn somewhere else,” Santorum said, describing the tool the evil Lord Sauron used in search of the magical ring that would consolidate his power over Middle-earth. “It’s being drawn to Iraq and it’s not being drawn to the US,” he continued. “You know what? I want to keep it on Iraq. I don’t want the Eye to come back here to the United States.” (Source: The Herald Standard)

Who’s next? Santa? LJ Hooker’s marketing tool, Mr Hooker Bear, has been replaced by a slimmer version, caving to the hysteria about child obesity. Children in the focus groups said the bear was looking a bit saggy and baggy, which the LJ Hooker marketing people interpreted as needing to lose 10kg. Brett Robinson, general manager for LJ Hooker says, “We decided to make the teddy bear version a bit slimmer and more appealing, a model of a fit and healthy lifestyle. Mr Hooker bears are given away to customers who buy and sell a home through LJ Hooker.