Spare Room Be our guest…

It appears Peta (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) is trying to divert us from evil dairy products by persuading drinkers of non-human milk that if the Virgin Mary’s human milk was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for all of us. Trouble is, once you’re over a certain age it’s not really socially acceptable to latch on. Peta obviously would prefer to live in a society which has breast-fed 12-year-olds, rather than enslaved cows.

Truss tomatoes are grown on the vine, but ‘trust’ tomatoes? A super-reliable variety, maybe …

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Billionaire casino owner and art collector Steve Wynn accidentally put his elbow through a $140 million Picasso as he gesticulated while talking about the painting to guests. Wynn has an eye disease that affects his peripheral vision. “I made a gesture with my right hand,” he told the New Yorker magazine. “My right elbow hit the picture. It punctured the picture. There was a distinct ripping sound.” He told his guests, “Well, I’m glad I did it and not you.”

Auckland City Council has decreed that bland grey concrete is preferable to the red chip footpaths, which are now banned

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How about this for a sick scam? For a donation of $5 a word, a website called Afterlife Telegrams will deliver telegrams to your dead relatives with the help of terminally ill volunteers who memorise messages before passing away themselves. The site claims the money is either “given to a relative, donated to a charity or used to pay for medical bills … Since we cannot guarantee delivery nor prove that a message has been delivered successfully, our customers do not pay for ‘deliveries’. They pay for ‘delivery attempts’.”

A reader fond of window shopping writes: “Briscoes has gone all Martha Stewart in dressing up the windows at its new upmarket offering, Urban Loft, in downtown Auckland. Style and sophistication, darling. In one window, a racy boudoir with the Trelise Cooper touch; New York Party Girls the theme of another, designed by the Herald’s Viva team; while the blurb describing the third treatment – a table setting for six with a centrepiece fishbowl – waxes about taking its inspiration from Soul restaurant on the waterfront. The goldfish represents the movement of the people and boats in the Viaduct Harbour. If only the big orange swimmer hadn’t stopped swimming. No movement in that belly-up pose. An unintended tabletop tragedy, or perhaps a sad commentary on the water quality of the Viaduct?”

Jonathan Whorwood writes: ‘This poor guy got his bag caught on the Whakapapa chair lift. As it went around everyone looked, laughed and took photos – embarrassing for him, but a great attraction for the tourists and New Zealanders.’

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Volunteer Shane Dryden is upset at Sylvia Park’s uncharitable attitude during Breast Cancer Awareness Week: “Not only did management charge the charity $200 for use of the space in its mall and a table for Pink Ribbon Day on Friday, but it also wouldn’t allow chairs.”