Spare Room » Conversation Pit

The Julie Project

Ana Samways — Tue, 08 Feb 2011 21:29:17 +0000

I bawled while reading about Julie Baird’s unfortunate life, but I am a cryer. Darcy Padilla photographed Julie over an 18 year period, from when she was a teen with her 8 day old infant to her death from AIDS at 36. The fly-on-the-wall photographs are not easy to look at; they are confronting, brutal and terribly sad. And they made me angry. Why would a woman like this have child after child? To think of Julie as a person and not a series of political issues is important. It reminds us of the fragility of human existence when poverty and poor mental health are factors, and the intergenerational nature of such deprivation...

IDUMP4U.com is Mean But Hilarious

Ana Samways — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 20:47:40 +0000

If being dumped by text seemed a little adolescent, try being dumped by a stranger who your ex has paid. IDUMP4U.com is a thriving online business for Bradley Laborman who charges $10 to be the prick and make the awkward break-up phone call. He then posts the recordings of the calls on YouTube. “I had one guy who couldn’t do it because every time he tried to do it, he’d end up having break-up sex with her and get back together,” he tells the Globe and Mail. Bradley does rub salt in to the wounded, but as Bradley suggests, some folk really don't get the message. And surely it’s a lucky escape to be dumped by someone to chicken shit (or immature) to call it off face to face. Here are a few of his calls. Brittney breaks-up with Clark because "Clark loves to play Farmville™, in fact he kinda loves to play it a little too much. SO much that it has effected his work, school and even his relationship. Well Brittney has decided that since this relationship as withered she needs Bradley to step in and harvest the fields so she can plant a new relationship later.... (Listen to this recording and more , after the jump...)

Grabaseat Cougar Cheerleaders. Shudder.

Ana Samways — Thu, 14 Jan 2010 03:40:28 +0000

Although the term cougar is tired and degrading Grabaseat are using it in their Cougar Pride promotion. The Air New Zealand site is looking for 60 women who consider themselves “cougars” to attend the NZI Sevens in Wellington as their cougar cheerleaders. To enter, women over 35 must enter their details including a photo. Tackiness aside, what do the winners win? Apparently tickets to the sold-out Wellington event and “cougar costumes and the equipment to make enough noise to attract the attention of young males” but the women will have to fork out for there own flights and accommodation. The video to promote the promotion uses the equally tired wildlife narration parody angle…

The Outlaw Pages: Global Yawning and Copen-Badly

Steven Shaw — Wed, 23 Dec 2009 03:06:52 +0000

By Kirk MacGibbon

I have the very great pleasure of owning a BMW 850. It’s getting on a bit now, 1991, and starting to show a few signs of wear and tear, of having taken a few knocks in life – a bit like its owner I guess – but it is a truly beautiful, classic car. To the uninitiated these cars sold, new, for around $270,000. Doug Myers had one. It was BMW's answer to Ferrari and Porsche, but I can only assume they somehow misinterpreted the question being asked, because at around 4000lbs the five litre V12 engine takes a very pedestrian 6.8 seconds to get from 0-100km/hr. Still, getting from 100-160km/hr is an altogether different story and represents a clear and present danger to any driver's licence...

Ralph Lauren Does It Again!

Ana Samways — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 21:37:27 +0000

Despite Ralph Lauren apologising for this digitally distorted ad, the unpopular fashion house has since fired model Filippa Hamilton for being too fat (even though she was medically underweight) and are currently displaying this ad in an Australian department store window...

The Outlaw Pages – The Scarecrow and Mrs King Go To Sydney

Steven Shaw — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 23:35:42 +0000

By Kirk MacGibbon

Is the silly season starting early? Funny how a commentary on my dislike of Rodney Hide in my last epistle ends up segueing nicely into an opening paragraph about his new mission on behalf of our faithful canine brothers. Apparently, they’ve got it a bit tough. While I think Rodney has well and truly gone barking over this one, I guess he must be given credit for inadvertently giving us an answer to that age-old question as to ‘Who let the dogs out?’ Rodney did, folks. What a git...

Outlaw Pages — Do As I Say, Not As I Do

The Outlaw — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 21:39:04 +0000

By Kirk MacGibbon

If there is one expression I absolutely hate, it is ‘Do as I say, not as I do’. It was the last-gasp, dictatorial pronouncement of the parent caught pants-deep in hypocrisy. And so it has proved to be with the paternalistic, condescending gaggle of ordinariness that comprises the National party. Finance Minister Bill English might as well have resorted to the expression instead of attempting his pathetic ‘I’ve got more important things to do’ comment when questioned about his machinations to claim an increased housing allowance...

The World’s First Breastfeeding Doll

Ana Samways — Wed, 05 Aug 2009 21:26:51 +0000

I am all for breastfeeding – in public, in private, on a train, in the rain, with a fox, in a box…but this is just odd. A Spanish toymaker has made " Baby", the world's first-ever breastfeeding simulator, er…doll, designed specifically to promote the 'breast is best' message. The doll comes with a special cropped halter top – with two daisies to symbolise nipples - that little girls wear while they pretend to breastfeed. The doll allegedly makes sucking noises when lifted to the daisies.

The Outlaw Pages – Chief Justices and the Fine Art of Tory Baiting

The Outlaw — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 11:37:48 +0000

By Kirk MacGibbon

I was intrigued by Chief Justice Sian Elias’s floating of the idea of using prisoner amnesties as a mechanism to reduce our prison population – and not just because this particular Chief Justice was one of the more controversial judicial appointments of recent times. That she would not have been appointed to her position by the Nats is axiomatic (ha! I’ve waited 30 years to get that word into a sentence ever since hearing Hawaii 5-Oh!’s Danno use it sent me scurrying for a dictionary)...

The Outlaw Pages — The Ghost of Thrashings Past

The Outlaw — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 06:09:52 +0000

By Kirk MacGibbon

These are weird times, and not just because the King of Weird, Michael Jackson decided to confound everyone and moonwalk off this mortal coil. The King of Pop was almost immediately joined by the 70s Queen of Popular Culture, and the most famous angel of them all, Farrah Fawcett. Apparently she was only with Charlie for a single season, but it was enough – that and a red one-piece bathing suit was all it took. Take note, Paris Hilton. Farrah succumbed to cancer. I believe it was cancer of the rectum, which you don’t hear much about, thankfully...

Plenty More Fish — Too Young Love

French Elbow — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 22:52:01 +0000

"Young love so strong has never been a part of me, young love hold on we're feeling it now, is this the way it's meant to be?" - Air Supply I jerked awake, there was a familiar digital scream emanating from the other side of the room. I made my best effort to sit up, but I hit the top of my head on a hangover. I immediately sank back down on to the bed, retreating from the reverberating pain in my head bits. I figured that if I lay motionless, my headache would get bored and wander off in search of something else to do. Experience has taught me that this tactic never works, and my phone continually ringing only helped to make up my mind. I had to stop the phone and drink some water as soon as possible. I slid along my bed and on to the floor, resembling a slightly retarded salamander, and fished my phone out of my bra. I placed it to my head and said "hel-hang on MY bra?"...

The Outlaw Pages — One Man’s Folly

The Outlaw — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 05:06:14 +0000

By Kirk MacGibbon

Poor old Richard Worth. First, he gets sacked for unsuccessfully chasing a piece of crumpet. It has to be said though, one pretty hot, exotic piece of crumpet indeed. Given her choice of husband, and his conviction on immigration fraud charges indicating at least a predilection on her part for making poor choices, you’d have to say that unWorthy must have fancied his chances. His critical error appears to have been not checking out her political affiliations first, and of course not recognising the inherent risk in putting his purile little thoughts into texts...

The Outlaw Pages — The Age of Insulationism

The Outlaw — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 23:16:36 +0000

By Kirk MacGibbon

So here’s what I reckon about Bill English’s ‘Bill-ya-later’ budget. If nothing else, and make no mistake about this, the budget was a spineless and simpering effort that drove a stake through the heart of New Zealand Superannuation as a universal benefit available to everyone from age of 65...

Plenty More Fish — A Brief Pick Me Up

French Elbow — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 01:20:21 +0000

“I've got all my life to live, I've got all my love to give and I'll survive. I will survive.” – Gloria Gaynor After a relationship ends, it can be difficult finding the motivation to eat breakfast, let alone the impetus to move on with your life. Women seem to mourn the loss of intimacy, that mixture of safety and contentment that can only come from a deep connection with another person. Most wonder if they'll ever be brave enough to allow themselves to feel love, knowing full well that it might end in crushing pain once again. Guys generally sit and think that another penis is in their ex. Yes, I know it's horribly immature. I realise that it's the equivalent of territorially marking out a heart by pissing on it, but it's true. It's what we do...

The Outlaw Pages — Budget 09

The Outlaw — Wed, 27 May 2009 04:13:54 +0000

By Kirk MacGibbon

Not a mother, more like an illegitimate son… My debut performance on TV3’s ASB Business on Wednesday sent me into a frenzy of thinking about all things Budget. I made a ton of notes and spent around five minutes talking with Michael Wilson and then it was all over. So, with a nod to the need to recycle I thought I would use my notes to provide some thoughts ahead of tomorrow’s Big Bill Budget...