Spare Room Be our guest…

“Young love so strong has never been a part of me, young love hold on we’re feeling it now, is this the way it’s meant to be?” – Air Supply

I jerked awake, there was a familiar digital scream emanating from the other side of the room. I made my best effort to sit up, but I hit the top of my head on a hangover. I immediately sank back down on to the bed, retreating from the reverberating pain in my head bits. I figured that if I lay motionless, my headache would get bored and wander off in search of something else to do. Experience has taught me that this tactic never works, and my phone continually ringing only helped to make up my mind. I had to stop the phone and drink some water as soon as possible. I slid along my bed and on to the floor, resembling a slightly retarded salamander, and fished my phone out of my bra. I placed it to my head and said “hel-hang on MY bra?”…

By Kirk MacGibbon

Poor old Richard Worth. First, he gets sacked for unsuccessfully chasing a piece of crumpet. It has to be said though, one pretty hot, exotic piece of crumpet indeed. Given her choice of husband, and his conviction on immigration fraud charges indicating at least a predilection on her part for making poor choices, you’d have to say that unWorthy must have fancied his chances. His critical error appears to have been not checking out her political affiliations first, and of course not recognising the inherent risk in putting his purile little thoughts into texts…

By Kirk MacGibbon

So here’s what I reckon about Bill English’s ‘Bill-ya-later’ budget. If nothing else, and make no mistake about this, the budget was a spineless and simpering effort that drove a stake through the heart of New Zealand Superannuation as a universal benefit available to everyone from age of 65…

“I’ve got all my life to live, I’ve got all my love to give and I’ll survive. I will survive.” – Gloria Gaynor

After a relationship ends, it can be difficult finding the motivation to eat breakfast, let alone the impetus to move on with your life. Women seem to mourn the loss of intimacy, that mixture of safety and contentment that can only come from a deep connection with another person. Most wonder if they’ll ever be brave enough to allow themselves to feel love, knowing full well that it might end in crushing pain once again. Guys generally sit and think that another penis is in their ex. Yes, I know it’s horribly immature. I realise that it’s the equivalent of territorially marking out a heart by pissing on it, but it’s true. It’s what we do…

By Kirk MacGibbon

Not a mother, more like an illegitimate son…

My debut performance on TV3’s ASB Business on Wednesday sent me into a frenzy of thinking about all things Budget. I made a ton of notes and spent around five minutes talking with Michael Wilson and then it was all over. So, with a nod to the need to recycle I thought I would use my notes to provide some thoughts ahead of tomorrow’s Big Bill Budget…